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Monday, August 30, 2010

If You Really Knew Me {Blog Hop}

My super sweet friend Tracy over at Sweet Harper has been doing a phenomenal series on Back To School from a former teacher's perspective every Monday throughout the month of August. I've really enjoyed reading her tips and insights, particularly because her area of expertise just so happens to line up fabulously with the ages of my little guys (Kindergarten and 1st Grade)!

As the grand finale of this series, Tracy has invited all of her readers to join her in an "If You Really Knew Me" blog hop, patterned after the show of the same name on MTV. See deets HERE to participate. The basic idea is for us mamas to lead our kiddos by example and open up about things others may not know about us, much the same way we as parents hope our children would feel comfortable opening up to us. So here goes...

If You Really Knew Me...

You would know that, despite all of my many successes in life, I have always had a deep seeded fear of failure. Many things have seemed to come easy for me: academics, sports, making friends, speaking in public, putting plans into action, writing/expression, etc...I have often been complimented by teachers, friends, co-workers, and superiors on my positive attitude and confident character, but very few know that in the recesses of my mind, I am constantly second guessing myself.

I constantly struggle with decision making...always questioning whether I've made the right choice. And this challenge has plagued me since my earliest recollections. From choosing how to dress and wear my hair in school, to what words to use in a speech, to choosing which movie to see or restaurant to frequent, to whether to get married, to whether to leave my job to be with the munchkins, to what school to send my children...some questions are big and some seem infinitely small, but answering pretty much all of them comes with some degree of difficulty on my part. And, truth be told, it's incredibly frustrating!

The ironic thing is, in the end I am always at peace with the decision that has been made, whether the outcome is what I had hoped for or not. I do not seem to have trouble accepting the results of a poor choice or seeing the silver lining in things...it's getting to that point that is exhausting! Fortunately for me, one of my strong suits is the ability to realize that I am a work in progress and that everything will work out in one way or another if I ultimately trust in my relationship with God and listen to His direction. I know that I am in no way perfect and will make many more mistakes in this lifetime, but as I've grown older I've been able to find a peace in knowing that I cannot control everything (and that I don't have to!).

So, what's something I should really know about you? Click HERE to find the linky :)

2 comments:

  1. Wow, this is a great post Jen. So true for many of us, I know. Oh, and you are such a beautiful mama!

    ReplyDelete

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